Is it really just about winning?
10 March 2008
Both boys play football for a local club. It’s just children’s football and they both enjoy it. However, one boy plays for a team with the attitude of we have to win, whereas the other boy began as a new team a few seasons ago and a 17 - 0 thrashing was sadly not uncommon. The team isn’t on the receiving end of such score lines now, but a win is a rare and special occurrence still. His team gives everyone a game no matter how skilled they are and each player is equally valued. The other team is entirely different and wins more than it loses and generally the strongest team starts. Both styles have their merits and I have to say months of watching your son lose is a little disheartening and of course it’s good to see them win.
Back to my original question; I’m not sure it is all about winning. Despite all I have said about the dread of turning up to see goals go into the back of the wrong net, I am equally proud of all the players who stuck by the team season after season. New players even joined this losing side! The point was that they were and are friends and enjoy playing football. As a parent I am glad that my children have a hobby that keeps them off the streets and keeps them fit. If they are going to be professional players I’m sure that their talent will be spotted no matter who they play for, but in reality they are most likely going to simply enjoy playing on a Sunday morning with their mates.
Now the reason for my question is that some parents place much more importance on the winning. It ‘ruins the weekend’ if their son’s team loses ( good job it doesn’t ruin ours!). One parent asked what we were doing there if it wasn’t to win? Well, I’ve already answered that, but at the end of the game when the team had lost I was asked how many had enjoyed that game? I’m not sure, but I am sure that my son didn’t walk away feeling as though he had let me down. He loves to play and loves to win, but losing a game is inevitable at some point. Even his beloved Arsenal had to lose when the went through their period of 49 games without losing. Even they didn’t win every game. They had some draws, but didn’t lose, until the fabulous Manchester United beat them, but I am at risk of digressing here!
My point is that children will have to learn to lose in life and not just in a football game. They can’t expect to win everything. My goodness their first lottery ticket will be devastating for them as the odds of winning the lottery are not good! A competitive streak is good. There’s no point starting something if you don’t believe in it, but to make it so important is surely setting them up for an almighty fall?
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